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Sunday, October 14, 2018

Restraining anger ~ appreciating good things : சினங்காப்பான்


It was otherwise unremarkable Saturday afternoon  - there was not much of crowd as I stood behind two persons at Spencers Royapettah opp to AIADMK Office – the woman in front sulked and displayed anger at the petite girl manning the counter ! – have seen this many a times, people getting frustrated at the delay and some mix-ups (in rates / discounts / quantities) and  show their wrath on those at the counter ** (the scene may not be any different – replace the name of the Super market / fruit shops – same counter, same type of small people – irate men and women !)

Somehow entire Chennai would appear rude and angry.  Miles away, in USA – one often hears ‘road-rage’  -  something most motorists experience at some point or another, but something very few people act on. When the phrase was coined in the 1980’s, it referred to rampant shootings on Interstate 405 in California. And while many of us are never likely to experience that level of roadside aggression, we may encounter aggressive drivers that use rude words and gestures in a futile attempt to move traffic forward. Aggressive driving tactics are dangerous to the driver and other motorists on any roadway, as it puts everyone at higher risk for collision and injury as well as property damage.   It leaves a bad taste too.

Spanish tennis player Fernando Verdasco came  under fire after his rude behaviour towards a ball boy at the Shenzhen Open in China. During the second set against Yoshihito Nishioka, the 34-year-old gestured at the ball boy to run faster while asking him to fetch the towel. Upset at the ball boy for being slow, Verdasco gesticulated rather angrily.  Miami Open title may not be closely followed but a couple of years ago, Djokovic after  losing the second set against Andy Murray, was  furious, stalked back to his chair screaming at his box, angrily snatching his towel from the ball-boy, who for his part looked thoroughly traumatised by the experience.  Different was Dimitrov, the Bulgarian in recent times has helped ball kids in any kind of stress on court. Once he helped a ball girl who wasn’t feeling well and escorted her out of the court.  In another, the Bulgarian suffered an upset 7-5 7-6 (7-2) loss to Canadian Vasek Pospisil in the second round but he won the hearts of the crowd for the touching exchange with an unlucky ball boy. The boy was moaning rather loudly after being hit by a serve coming at over 200km/h. Both players showed immediate concern and while the boy bravely pushed on, it all become too much as he started to cry. Dimitrov, despite being only a matter of points away from the defeat, held up the match as he went over to console the injured boy, patting him on the head and giving him his wrist band.

Anger is common restraint is no so common ~ this is what Thiruvalluvar has to say :

செல்லிடத்துக் காப்பான் சினங்காப்பான் அல்லிடத்துக்
காக்கின்என் காவாக்கால் என்.

சினம் பலிக்குமிடத்தில் அதனை வராமல் காப்பவனே அருளால் காப்பவனாவான். அது பலிக்காத இடத்தில் அதனைத் தடுத்தால் என்ன? தடுக்காமல் இருந்தால் தான் என்ன?.  செல்லிடம்' தாழ்ந்தவரும் வறியவரும் அதிகாரமில்லாதவருமாம். 'அல்லிடம்' உயர்ந்தவரும் செல்வரும் அதிகாரத்திற் சிறந்தவருமாம்.

According to Thiruvalluvar – it is great to restrain anger at the place where one can easily show it i.e., against people lower than your stature, how would it  matter – in knowing how would one restrain one’s anger at higher places and those at the helm and more powerful than thy !!

Communication is an art ~ in olden days, people used to write letters –  now rather  than mere words, usage of graphics and symbols, can enhance expression of feelings such as happiness, anger, surprise, sadness and more.   There are ‘emojis’.  In psychology and philosophy, emotion is a subjective, conscious experience characterized primarily by psycho-physiological expressions, biological reactions, and mental states. Emotion is often associated and considered reciprocally influential with mood, temperament, personality, disposition, and motivation.  It also is influenced by hormones and neurotransmitters. Emotion is often the driving force behind motivation, positive or negative.  .. .. the World would be a much better place, if only people can restrain their anger and be courteous to others.

** at Spencers’ shop as my turn came – the girl gave a sheepish smile trying to hide the bashing she had just received – then went running to query something on chaste Hindi- I was taken aback – asked her how did she learn speaking Hindi so frequently – more surprise was in store, as the little Neetu told me that she hails from Darbanga, in Assam, Hindi comes naturally and that she had learnt Tamil for working here !  (I asked for the feedback form, she came with a complaint register – and I registered my hearty appreciations for the good customer service, and more for her fluency in languages) – Goodness is perhaps everywhere, only we miss to see many a times !! – to be recognized, first it has to be observed !!

With regards – S. Sampathkumar
14th Oct 2018.


1 comment:

  1. I have had this experience at a Reliance store in Royapettah. The problem is two fold - customers are terrible. They check the long printed receipt, cancel items, ask questions on prices...OMG so irritating. The girls are poorly trained. They could show lot more speed in clearing the queue. While many things about Chennai have changed in recent times, the inefficiency and incompetency at the counters have not and no thanks to the terrible customers:-((

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